Thursday, January 12, 2023

 Bismillah

As Salaamu alaikum,


Hello self. Good morning! Will you please be good today?

Often, in the midst of a memorization session, I will receive a thought so compelling that it stops me in my tracks. And I have to stop and figure out where I am and what I’m doing. I have to look down at the page of Quran to remember what I was doing and that I need to continue. When that happens I know that I am on the cusp of a breakthrough and Shaitan is doing everything he can to stop my success. 

Alhamdulillah. All praise is for He who originates the souls and has given us beautiful forms. We stand upright and our hearts face one another. 

There is a sweetness in the rhythmic remembrance of Allah. The recitation of Quran doesn’t always come easy. But there is a certain point at which you cross a boundary. An internal spiritual boundary, that allows one to begin to access intimacy with Allah. It’s a different type of experience. Once one has gotten beyond a certain degree of pain and hardship in recitation and has submitted ones will to Allah completely something simply happens. 

I’ve heard it described as flow in some circles. Time seems to slow or to speed up and there is no separation between the self and the words. Focus is complete and concentration is whole. At the times I have reached this state everything else blurs into a dull background. Suddenly I’ll hear someone from a distance say, “It’s time to pray.” Or I’ll feel a need tug at me. When that happens I feel as if I’m waking from a dream. And as the Quran and I separate I begin to notice myself again. My limbs are heavy. I feel hunger. Sometime, if I’ve been sitting unchanged for over an hour, sharp stings of pain will shoot down and up my legs as they awaken. My body will often feel extremely tired but there is also something more. A deep relief and blessed taste swirls around in my spirit. I can barely enjoy it before it fades and I go back to being an ordinary person. But for the smallest glimpse of time I feel as if I had walked in heaven and I cannot wait to return.

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